The Dick Van Dyke Show

Alan Brady is throwing a party at his penthouse for a few of the network executives and he wants the writing staff to attend. Unfortunately for Rob though Laura thinks Richie is on the verge of being sick and wants to stay home. Rob is certain hell be okay and wants to get a babysitter but hes having a hard time convincing Laura.

Laura tries to get Thomas (her cousin) and Sally together, but when Sally arrives Thomas doesnt get to say much, Thomas likes Sally anyway!

While clearing out the bedroom closet, Rob finds his old army boots, bringing back memories of how he and Laura first met.

Jerry plants seeds of mistrust in Lauras mind when he learns that Valerie Blake, the beautiful movie star, will be guesting on The Alan Brady Show. Laura doesnt listen to him until Rob begins a string of late night work sessions. Soon Lauras jealousy begins to grow and Rob will have to work just as hard to convince Laura that nothing is going on between he and Valerie Blake.

Buddy and his wife cant take their German Shepherd, Larry, with them on a three-day weekend. Buddy wants Rob to keep Larry for the weekend, but Rob refuses because he hasnt talked it over with Laura. The next time we see Rob, hes trying to sneak Larry into the house. Ritchie is afraid because he thinks that Larry is a wolf and Laura cant sleep because Larry is crying. What is Rob to do?

Rob trips over a toy that Ritchie to pick up he even forget the Bridge night! Rob has also asked the PTA to come to a taping of The Alan Brady Show Mrs. Billings (Eleanor Audley) president of the PTA comes by to get the 44 tickets, Rob forgot to get the tickets! Now Rob has a few tickets. Mel gives Rob 6 tickets leaving 4 the U.N. (Mels U.N.) Rob calls home thinking his wife is on the phone and asks (Ritchie) if could speak to mom. Rob goes to say 43 can go in and 33 cant go in. Rob buy a ticket (last weeks) for 50 cents. Rob has 31 tickets and starts telling the PTA he didnt get all the tickets. Mel tells Rob there are no tickets, the PTA will be in the show!

Rob takes Lauras advice when Laura shows Rob how to treat Sally like a lady after seeing her treated like a guy. Laura doesnt realize what trouble she causes! Rob hopes Lauras plan to get Sally a man works. Buddy & Mel talk about Sally & Rob going out to lunch leaving Buddy and Mel to believe Rob could be dating Sally behind Lauras back!

Rob recalls the hilarious events leading up to Ritchies birth when Ritchie asks the inevitable question.

Laura Millie and Jerry are watching the latest episode of The Alan Brady Show, Jerry tells everybody including the police officer who comes by to ask for tickets that show was bad. Rob takes Millies advice (after Rob asks if everybody wants more coffee & Millie tries to Jerry to stop joking) pours hot coffee on Jerrys pants! Ritchie comes home and says Jerry got punched in the nose by Rob. Rob later tells Laura that he didnt punch Jerry in the nose. He later hears a waitress say she liked the show. Jerry tells everybody at the restaurant the show was bad (forcing Rob to hit Laura in the nose (with a fingernail!)

Rob and Laura find Ritchie eating breakfast and reading the paper! Rob is happy his son can read, which gives Rob an idea to test Ritchies IQ (how smart he is) Laura calls Rob to say she heard Ritchie say a bad word. Rob wants to talk to his son about saying bad word. Ritchie has trouble understanding the difference so he goes and brings his little blackboard out with the word in question, Rob then asks Ritchie not to say the word. Sally and Buddy are working on a joke but all Rob can think of is the dirty word Ritchie said. Rob calls the Kirks to complain about the words Tommy (their son) uses. When the Kirks come over Rob and Laura learn that Mr. Kirk is a Minster!

Rob is Father of The Week Ritchie doesnt want his dad there, because Rob wont be able to show anything on how to write comedy. Rob think he will get an award, but he has to speak to kids for 30 minutes. Rob finds that explaining comedy to little kids is going to be hard! Mrs. Given doesnt makes things easier when she keeps talking about a parent (who was a jet airline pilot) Rob tries to answer why people are made to laugh, He does movements to have the kids figure out what he doing.

Sally drags the entire gang to a bowling alley when she discovers a new dance sensation thats sure to sweep the nation.

Sally doesnt have a date for her birthday, then an old friend from high school (Leo Fassbinder) calls. Sally invites Leo to her apartment for a quiet evening, but Rob, Laura, Buddy and Mel think Leo is just a made up friend and plan to bring a loud party to Sallys apartment.

Robs shy brother Stacey has a problem. Hes a somnambulist! And Staceys a great performer when hes asleep. How can Rob get Stacey to perform a great audition for Alan Brady while Stacey is awake?

Rob faces a dilemma when a rambunctious old army pal must be told he cannot attend a special dinner party that the Petries are throwing to make an impression with an Alan Brady Show sponsor.

Mel brings a box of toys from last weeks show. Rob takes a baby ducks home and doesnt want to see them because she will fall in love with them. Ritchie names the ducks Oliver and Stanley. Rob takes Stanley to the vet because the duck is sick Ritchie learns that Stanley went back to the lake and met Olivia. Rob tells Ritchie that Oliver died because his needs werent met (like taking him to the lake) Ritchie asks he can bring a wedding gift to Stanley & Olivia.

Rob wants to have more sleep, Ritchie comes in with a tray and wants it read to him. This leads Rob Ritchie the problems of getting married they spend time figuring out the day. Laura is at church, Rob wonders if he should marry Laura. Rob is late to his wedding due to the Jeep not starting and wondering if he should go through with it. Rob tries to get the Jeep going and he hops to the church with a broken ankle. Laura comes back ready to her the story. Rob and Laura hope to marry next Sunday, when they do Rob is sick and says, ""I Do"" at the wrong time and makes Laura leave! (he is so sick he has trouble understanding what is being said)

Buddy is about to lose 25 cents for every time he insults Mel. Buddys brother Blackie drops by, faking his way through pool (he really knows how to play!) so much so that Rob and Blackie play for $300! The bet gets higher as Rob figures out that his playing with a real pool shark! Rob wonders how can give $300 of soda crackers. Blackie now sells real estate! Rob is about to find he married a real pool shark!

Ritchie wonders what the ""R"" in his middle name stands for (Rose Bud) Rob and Laura figure out how to explain how he got Rose Bud for a middle name, it started when Laura tells Rob she is going to have a baby. Ritchie learns he has 7 middle names! (which spell out Rose Bud)

Rob comes home mad because the script needed a rewrite, Buddy was late & Sally left early. Rob leaves mad and goes for a walk. Laura wants a chance to talk to somebody so Millie listens not quite sure what they fought about.

Ritchie thinks a woodpecker attacked him. He goes to hide again, Millie is the only one that can prove Ritchie was attacked by the bird. Rob calls everyone he hopes can kill the bird and finds the Game Warden can kill it. Rob tries to catch the bird. Rob finds out that Ritchies hair is used for a nest! Ritchie sends extra hair for the nest.

Rob bites some chicken and breaks a tooth but feels bad when another dentist fixes the tooth. He worries that Jerry wont be his friend. Rob tries not to show his teeth. Jerry isnt mad at Rob.

Rob & Laura read about a cat burglar and wants his picture in the paper. A noise is heard & Rob takes the gun but cant find the bullets! Laura puts them in her Jewelry box!

Rob has left a manuscript of a book that tells about Rob engaged to someone else. Rob is also in love with Laura, he has to tell her that he is engaged to Dorothy (thats Rob asked for two three day passes) hoping he could tell Dorothy that he wants to marry Laura. Buddy and Sally read the manuscript in secret hoping Rob wont catch them reading it. Rob says Dorothy is 75% sexier than Laura. Dorothy gets mad that she wont be married to him. Rob comes in with aching feet wanting Buddy & Sally to read it!

Mel wants the gang to rewrite a 17minute joke, Rob walks out on his job and is angry that Buddy & Sally didnt quit. Rob recalls the time he joined the show as head writer. Buddy makes fun of Rob. Rob acts like a car hopping to get Buddy & Sally to like him. Alan likes what Rob wrote along with Buddy & Sally. Rob learns Buddy & Sally quit

Rob and Laura are going home from dinner and Rob has no idea why she is mad. Laura worries that Rob ""buys"" love. Rob asks if he can pay a house payment so that Laura wont think he has fallen in love with the bank. Laura is glad Rob didnt pay the check, Rob finds one of his faults so he traded toys to make people like him.

Rob wishes he could draw a horse so he draws one on paper but doesnt watch where he draws because he ends up drawing on the wall! Rob tries to find something to take the ink off, but makes things worse. So Rob and Laura hire a painter that once came by looking for work. Laura gets out her endless pile of cards until they find Vito Giottos card. They are soon in for shock they find out that Vito likes to make a job long (5 days long) because he loves the walls! There is a little problem Vito likes to get started at 5:30 am! Rob and Laura to figure out how to rid themselves of Vito and cant because Rob looks like a priest. Vito charges Laura and Rob $500 dollars for his wok, He doesnt want to be paid yet because he promises Ritchie he would do some magic tricks.

Rob is scared to learn that French actor/singer Jacques Savon is the guest on the show this week. Laura is later also scared to learn that Jacques is the guest on Alans show. Rob and Laura met Jacques and his then wife Yvette when they visited Europe years ago at a time when Jacques career was just about to take off. It is a trip that they never speak of, although neither knows exactly why the other doesnt talk about it. As well, their individual fear of seeing Jacques is because of the same end result but for a slightly different reason. Neither Rob or Laura knows that the other really doesnt want to see Jacques, both who try to avoid him at all cost. But when Jacques finds out that both Rob and Laura are scared to see him and the reason why, he has to figure out a way to preserve the romantic memory that both have about that European trip.

Alan Brady is out of town so Tracy Rattigan is the host. Rob is going to have to fight to keep Laura. Rob doesnt like how fast things are going. Tracy loves driving Rob crazy, The gang writes the best show for Tracy.

Rob meets Jim Darling who is an old flame Laura dated. Rob wont tell Laura he ran into Jim at the office, Rob tells Jim they cant make it to his party because Ritchie is sick. Jim then brings the party to the Petrie home. Rob wants Laura to wear a jacket so Jim wont fall in love with her again.

Sally may have found a fella but he wants to take Sally away from The Alan Brady Show, so she can write Freddy White. To keep Sally Rob & Buddy write an act hoping Freddy will lose interest in Sally. Freddy wants to marry Sally to help his career. Sally leaves the office to have good two-hour cry and change clothes (which should take three hours according to Sally)

Rob tells Mel about the day Ritchie came home Laura says Ritchie looked different in the crib. Rob begins to think he took the wrong baby home. Actually they took the right baby home but the wrong stuff like the cards (which were meant for the Peters baby (who left the hospital the same day as the Petries) Jerry & Rob take the footprints of their baby. The Peters come to get their stuff such as the flowers & dried figs.

Are Rob and Laura married? This episode brings up that question as Rob asks Laura to sign insurance forms that Laura never signed. Laura does everything she can to hide a mistake Rob doesnt know about. Rob is tired of ""losing his wife"" He finds out he married a 17 year-old Laura.

Laura & Rob get ready to spend time with Jerry and Millie, but things get bad when Rob and Laura listen to Millie & Jerry over the intercom. Laura & Rob debate if they should go. The Petries arrive angry leaving Millie & Jerry to wonder what caused the fight. They play Charades by guessing a song title the clues dont match at all! Rob & Laura listen in again to Millie & Jerry say nice things about them.

While working on a joke, Rob should be going to Alans house to talk about the joke. After hitting himself on the head with a violin (a real one) Rob goes to a party. The party is in Red Hook, New Jersey!

Rob, Buddy, & Sally have job to do they have to write a joke for Kenny Dexter. Who is the nephew of Max Calvada but when Kenny shows up to see Rob, Buddy, & Sally they wonder if Kenny can do the act. When Kenny does the act he flops! Max let Kenny do the act because Max wants Kenny to go to college!

Rob hires a maid named Maria who came from Spain! The problems are just starting Maria has a broken arm and cant speak English. She has to stay with Rob and Laura. Rob calls the agency to find another job. Maria has to go back to Spain unless a job is found. Rob finds a job for Maria painting at a local shop.

The staff has to plan a Christmas show.

Rob is asked to meet with a reporter from ""Newstime"" magazine who is doing a cover story on Alan Brady. Laura comes along to the lunchtime interview. Rob modestly gives all the shows credit to Alan and his co-writers Sally Rogers (no G) and Buddy Sorrell (two Ls), but Laura throws in her opinion and wont be silenced by Rob. When the article appears, it mentions Alans name 7 times and Robs name 11 times, giving Petrie all the credit for Alans success. It refers to Robs ""frolicsome fellow workers"" only once as Sally Sorrell and Buddy Rogers. Brady calls Rob to his office and yells at him for stealing his thunder and yells at Mel for suggesting that Laura go along to the interview. Rob tries to repair the damage with a letter to the editor of Newstime, prompting Buddy and Sally to forgive him. But when it is printed, an ""Editors Note"" suggests Brady forced Rob to write the letter and the magazine still believes Rob is the ""genius behind the genius."" Rob cowers in a corner of Brady

Rob meets Lauras old flame Joe Coogan at the country club, Rob tells Laura he met Joe and Laura thinks he looked in her shoebox where her pomes are kept. (The pomes are kept in the basement) What Laura doesnt know is the Sonnets give a clue as to what Joe does for a living. Laura & Millie play Golf with Father Joe Coogan. Laura invites Joe to dinner along with Buddy & Sally only to get a big shock.

Laura & Rob are deciding when to have his party day should it be 3 weeks after or before Ritchie actual date of birth? Laura says she will have the party at Dizzy Land (not Disney Land). Rob & Laura forget the Gardner has come and have the party inside (with 63 kids!) because the garden needed to be fertilized!

Sally is famous overnight leaving Rob and Buddy to work alone.

Rob recalls a time when he left Camp Crowder to spend his honneymoon with Laura.

The Petries parents fight over where Laura and Rob should be buried. They have to decide which burial plot to choose without upsetting their in-laws.

Alan Brady is on vacation so Rob arranges for Edwin Carp and other stars of the golden era of radio comedy to guest on a tv special.

Rob ends up in jail after contacting an army buddy.

Another classic; in this episode, Rob finds a hair or two in his brush; of course he assumes hes going bald. A visit to his barber (Ned Glass) hardly reassures him. The barber tells him to use a concotion on his head whose formula is very close to salad dressing. Rob dreams of using the stuff, then waking with a salad on his scalp instead of hair. Fortunately, he realizes he is dreaming and wakes up (or does he)...BALD! Finally he manages to really awaken, and finds his hair is just fine. Buddy and Sally figure in the dream and are great, spinning Rob in the barber chair while the barber chuckles evilly. One of the stand-out episodes, right up there with ""It May Look Like a Walnut!"", ""Sneaky Camera"", and ""Washington Versus the Bunny.""

Laura has a talent for judo when she defends Rob at a bar.

Roger Ritchies Babysitter has fallen in love with Laura. Roger has trouble telling Laura that he loves her.

Rob is offered a job at a mens magazine but Laura doesnt like the idea.

Rob tells Buddy and Sally the story of how he and Laura met Lyle Delp.

Millie gets a letter campaign together to make sure Rob still has a job.

Rob tries to help get a raise for Buddy and Sally but finds that hard to do after talking with Alan Bradys accountant.

When a writer comes to do a piece on the Alan Brady Show, Rob is worried about how Buddy and Sally will act in front of her.

Rob,Buddy, & Sally have just spent 11 hours finishing a script, on his way home Rob thinks he has the script in his hand but all he brings home is a newspaper! Rob remembers later that he left the script at Grand Centeral Station!

Sally is asked to help Stacey learn how to date a lady.

Laura & Millie drive Rob crazy when their sons are cast in a commercial.

Rob takes pillow salesman to court after buying pillows that smell like chickens.

Ritchie comes to his parents for advice on how to get Priscilla Darewell to stop hitting him. Soon Rob and Laura find out that Pricilla loves Ritchie!

Rob and Laura may have found their dream house soon they find a rock in the center of the house!

Laura and Rob plan to see a play but she gets locked in a bathroom at their hotel.

Alan Brady is going on Broadaway, he asks Rob to add jokes to the play. Rob later whishes he hadnt agreed to help Alan.

Rob has a new motorcycle and takes it for a ride and is later arrested.

A talk show host gets Laura to tell a TV audience that Alan Brady is bald!

Rob and Buddy are working late, and keep thinking they hear a metallic voice saying ""Uhny Uftz""! The explore a supposedly abandoned office somewhere in the building, and find a somewhat mad inventor (complete with a taciturn and vaguely menacing assistant) who has constructed a toy flying saucer. It works quite well, except that, instead of saying ""Merry Christmas"" as the inventor intended, the saucer only says ""Uhny Uftz"".

Rob recalls a time when Laura was the prize of a raffle. Rob does everything he can to keep Clark Rice from marrying Laura.

After Rob and Laura finish watching a movie Uncle Hezekiah gives Rob and Laura clue as to what the fortune might be.

Maria (the Petries maid) tells Manuel Luis Rodriguez to go to the Petries because Maria feels that Rob can find him a job, but the only Manuel can do is be a bullfighter.

Rob tells Buddy and Sally of the time he became the middle weight champion of his Army Camp.

After fighting with Laura, Rob is arrested for hurting an old Lady. Rob has trouble telling police he didnt hurt the Lady (whom he saw in a barroom).

After Rob loses his watch that he got as birthday gift, He thinks everyone he knows took his watch. Laura and Rob plan a party to say they are sorry after they learn a crook stole Robs watch.

Rob decides to quit running for his seat on the New Rochelle city council after meeting the opponent running against him because of his experience.

Mel is in trouble for not telling Alan that there was a change in the script. Rob tries to get Mel to stick up for himself, But Mel gets fired.

Sally really wants a husband she goes on ""The Stevie Parsons Show"" thinking she has finally found a husband or has she? Stevie asks Rob to help in a stunt where Stevie picks a letter written to Sally, One problem Sally has no idea what will happen! Wait until Sally finds out who Box 7030 is!

Rob and Laura are attending a wedding in Albany, Rob is asked by Alan to watch a fashion show. He promises to tell Alan what he thought of it. Rob has to hurry to the church to usher a wedding.

Jerry & Millie are having their anniversary party, at the Petrie home one problem the party is a part of documentary that focuses on Alan.

Ritchies bedroom is used as a stakeout point (it has the best view) Harry Bond is looking for the nephew of Wendell Gerard, Rob loves the gadgets the agent brings to solve the case.

Laura and Rob spend time with the Staggs and going to the theater,Jerry & Millie feel left out.

Rob needs to have a tooth removed, as Jerry removes it Rob dreams that he lives in the old west and needs to save the town from Big Bad Brady. Rob cant seem to remember to bring his guns ( he cant recall where he left them including his gun belt!) Deputy Buddy finally brings them, just as Big Bad Brady and Rob go to battle. We find that Rob needs to practice more (he cant shoot all the bottles on the bar.) Rob is about to wake up only to be told by Jerry, that a World War 1 script is needed. Rob asks Jerry to put him under again and take another tooth so Rob can think of what to dream about!