The War at Home

Vicky decides to turn to an old, ex-boyfriend over the internet for advice about what to about her son, Larry, who insists on wearing womens clothes. While shes online, though, she discovers some of Daves secret e-mails hes been sending to someone with the screenname ""Lonely Lady in Michigan."" Having discovered this, she decides to confront him. However, Hillary also has some problems of her own, but refuses to to tell Vicky about it.

Dave isnt happy when Tayes family is invited over for a barbecue by Vicky, and has a hard time getting along with Tayes father, Omar. At the barbecue, Omar mistakes some of Daves comments as racist, because hes a wealthy, African-American. However, when Vicky insists that he go apologize to him, Dave finds himself having a great time at Omars country club. When he gets home, though, he finds out that Hillary and Taye are on the verge of breaking up.

One of Hillarys friends gets breast implants, so now, Hillary wants to get implants, too. However, both Dave and Vicky wont let her do it, as Dave tells Hillary that its whats on the inside that matters, not appearance. His advice is then tested when he meets Larrys new, overweight, unattractive girlfriend, Marla. Now, hell have to figure out how to tell Larry that he can do better without going against what he told Hillary earlier.

When Dave thinks the kids are getting away with too much, he implements a zero-tolerance, pro-spanking policy, since talking to them just isnt working. However, they all think hes bluffing and dont take him seriously. After Larry becomes the first to be spanked, he moves in with his friend, Kenny. Now, Child Protective Services is called and Dave will have to answer to them.

Grandma Betty comes over with her new boyfriend for dinner with the family. However, soon, Dave finds out that she is spending a lot of money on him. Fearing that hell lose his future inheritance, Dave accuses Grandma Bettys boyfriend of being a gigolo in order to break them up. Meanwhile, Vicky and Dave devise a plan to break up Hillary and Keith by showing Hillary how hard it is to raise a baby. Then, when Larry shows interest in baseball cards, Dave encourages him... until he learns that Larry is using the information to sell his cards on eBay.

The family struggles to adjust to Vickys new job, which leaves her with less hours to be at home and more hours working. Dave and Larry continue to have tough time trying to do the things Vicky normally does. Daves temper doesnt help and makes matters worse when Mike and Hillary end up in trouble. Meanwhile, the changes around the office force Vicky to think twice about her decision.

Dave suspects Hillary is pregnant when he finds a pregnancy test in the trash. However, he soon learns that a depressed, jobless Vicky has not been taking the pill. So, Dave insists and helps Vicky with various job opportunities, but with no results, since he is opposed to having another kid. Mike, meanwhile, becomes too lazy and buys Hillarys old book reports when she had good grades, and Larry gets himself into a spelling bee competition.

Dave has to deal with mood swings and PMS when Vicky and Hillarys menstrual cycles start in full swing. So, when a reluctant Dave has to take Hillary to the gynecologists office, he soon discovers that Dr. Vogel is his old best friend, who happened to be a ladies man in high school. This leads to the doctors professional relationship with the family getting personal since Dave doesnt believe hes changed his ways. Meanwhile, Larry tries to do whatever it takes to gain the respect of Mike when he calls him a nobody.

Mike asks Dave for a bar mitzvah, but he believes Mike is only in it for the party and gifts. However, Mike expresses geniune interest in Judaism after studying Hebrew, so Dave and Vicky are willing to support him and throw him a "coming-of-age" ceremony. Hillary also decides shes interested in being Jewish after Mikes attractive Hebrew tutor. Also, Larry gets the confidence he needs to ask out an attractive girl at school.

Dave decides to take the family to Florida to visit his parents, and because it wont cost him a dime. But he soon learns that Mike hates to fly, Vicky hates his parents, and Hillary wants to remain in town so the boy she likes wont forget her. This leaves Larry the only one actually looking forward to going on the trip, and has started a weight-loss program so hell look good in a speedo. However, everything soon starts to go wrong when their ride to the airport is cancelled, Hillarys new nipple ring is discovered by airport security in front of an angry Vicky, and Dave is searched by security. Once they reach the condo, Dave is continously treated by his dad the same way he treats Larry and wants to return home as quickly as possible.

Thinking that Hillary will be grateful, Dave takes the blame when she gets pulled over for reckless driving while shes taking driving lessons. However, Hillary isnt grateful at all when this leads Dave to be arrested for DUI and goes to court to try and settle things. Vicky, meanwhile, forgets to register Larry for Shakespeare camp, while Dave and Mike take up online poker.

When Larry decides to run for president, Dave is supportive of his sons interest in leadership, until he learns that Larry is actually running for president of the Chess Club. Dave makes a strategic move to prevent Larry from becoming the biggest geek in school. Meanwhile, Hillary thinks shes going to become the next pop star, and after finding an empty condom wrapper in Mikes pants, Dave and Vicki face the dreaded sex talk.

Dave and Vicky decide to give Hillary the car she wants as long as she agrees to sign a contract so they can completely control her life. She reluctantly signs, but Dave and Vicky realize they may have gone too far with the restrictions. Meanwhile, Larry goes against the "bros before hos" code and dates Mikes ex-girlfriend, Heidi.

Dave accuses an incensed Hillary of cheating on her SATs after she gets a surprisingly high score. Meanwhile, Vicky and Dave meet a couple who may be interested in more than friendship, and Dave asks Larry to take a clients daughter out on a date, only to find out that she isnt an ideal match for him.

Kennys dad, Achmed, pulls up the rose bushes between his home and Dave and Vickys, believing the property is his after an assessment. When Dave and Vicky disagree, the two families declare war on each other, putting Larry and Kenny in the middle. Meanwhile, Hillary jokingly tells Dave to choose her next boyfriend since hes never happy with the boys she picks. Dave meets a boy who reminds him of himself, and against her better judgment, Hillary agrees to go out with him. Mike goes through a nude phase.

Dave is tired of Larry and Mikes constant fighting and suggests that Mike try harder to have a relationship with his brother. Much to Daves disappointment, Mike actually prefers hanging out with Larry to practicing for basketball tryouts, and worries that Larrys nerdy ways are starting to rub off on him. Meanwhile, Hillary sets out to prove shes more than just a pretty face by trying to get a blind guy interested in dating her.

When Kenny moves into the Golds house, Vicky sets out to re-decorate the basement for him, however, her ideas dont meet Kennys standards, and Larry, Hillary, and Mike try to get him to stop showing them up by doing all the chores and laughing at Daves bad jokes. Meanwhile, Dave uses Kennys moving in to his advantage and tells everyone at work hes taken in an "orphaned gay kid" so that hell look like a good guy and hopefully get the newly-vacant, larger office.

Dave puts the kids on a strict allowance, since theyre always asking him for money. Vicky supports him on this... that is, until she, too, is put on a budget and is unable to buy the Prada boots shes always wanted. Meanwhile, after spending all his allowance money on the first day at Medieval Times, Larry asks Mike to loan him some money. And, in order to earn some extra money, Hillary starts an escort service for the nerdy boys at school.

Vickys mom Betty and her boyfriend Sid announce their engagement and upcoming wedding in St. Martin and invite the entire family to join them. But when Sid goes too far with a stripper, Dave wonders whether or not to tell Betty and risk losing the free trip. Meanwhile, Kenny goes on a date with an ex-boyfriend of Hillarys, so Dave has an awkward conversation with him about gay safe-sex, while Hillary worries she may have a knack for turning men gay.

Due to cutbacks at work, Dave and his two co-workers quit their jobs and start their own business. Meanwhile, Hillary decides to join the Army after not receiving any college acceptance letters, and Larry refuses to get his drivers license.

After a car accident, Dave and Vicky decide to look over their living wills again, and ask their friends Jeff and Mindy to become their childrens legal guardians should anything happen to them. They cant accept due to already doing the same thing for their other friends, so disagreements between Dave and Vicky start up, causing a huge fight. Larry thinks they may be getting a divorce, so he, Mike, and Hillary come up with a plan to get them back together.

Because of failing gym class, Hillary risks not graduating high school. Feeling that their nest is emptying a little bit, Dave and Vicky feel the need to keep it that way, resulting in both of them agreeing to have no more children and taking steps to prevent that from happening. But in the end, Hillary graduates and a shock for Dave and Vicky unfolds.