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'Allo 'Allo!

In France during World War II, René Artois runs a small café where Resistance fighters, Gestapo men, German Army officers and escaped Allied POWs interact daily, ignorant of one anothers true identity or presence, exasperating René.

11 Votes (8.5)

1984 HD 30min TV-PG United Kingdom English Ended
Comedy History
slapstick comedy surreal world war ii small town raf royal air force parody france prisoner of war workplace british army

Credits:

David Croft

director

Gorden Kaye

René Artois

Carmen Silvera

Edith Artois

Vicki Michelle

Yvette Carte-Blanche

Richard Marner

Colonel Kurt von Strohm

Kim Hartman

Private Helga Geerhart

Guy Siner

Lieutenant Hubert Gruber

Kenneth Connor

Monsieur Alfonse

Kirsten Cooke

Michelle Dubois

Rose Hill

Madame Fanny

S1E1 - The British 'ave Come 1984-09-07

The Colonel & the Captain mull over their situation and decide they should probably hand over René and the painting to the Gestapo in order to get rid of Herr Flick. But René convinces them that they could hand over a forged copy of the painting instead (with the assistance of a conveniently-located forger), and gets them to lend their uniforms to the escaping British officers so the Brits can take the painting to England to be forged. Meanwhile, everyone keeps handing René poison pills "to make it easier", Herr Flick decides his relationship with Helga should include an intimate dinner in Renes back room, and Hans figures out that putting cheese in ones ears improves the sound of Madame Ediths singing.

S1E2 - Pigeon Post 1984-09-14

After the Colonels and the Captains uniforms are borrowed by the British airmen, and later burned, they will have to send for replacement uniforms. Supplied by Michelle are carrier pigeons, which madame Edith accidentally cooks and serves to Herr Otto Flick.

S1E3 - Saville Row to the Rescue 1984-09-21

The Colonel & the Captain and Herr Flick are all disguised as onion sellers while the German uniforms are being remade by the Jewish tailors of London. Michelle delivers a bottle of nitro-glycerin disguised as a bottle of Bols Gin to hide in the Cafe until they come to fetch it that night to blow up a German railway.

S1E4 - The Execution 1984-09-28

Hans mistakes the nitro for gin and accidentally blows up the railway himself! The Germans capture René, Yvette, and the peasant-disguised Colonel and Captain. As Helga, Leclerc, and Edith each attempt to help the gang escape, General Von Klinkerhoffen arrives in town and demands that the only known saboteur be shot. This means Renés death by firing squad, with Lieutenant Gruber in charge of the squad!

S1E5 - The Funeral 1984-10-05

René tries to go back to his normal life after his fake execution, posing as his twin brother, also named René, but the funeral arrangements are difficult when there is no body, Monsieur Leclerc is cheaper than the regular priest and the coffin is filled with anti-tank bombs.

S1E6 - Red Nick's Colonel 1984-10-19

The Communist Resistance wants to make a martyr out of the dead René, and kidnaps the Colonel and the Captain at the Captains birthday party. To make matters worse, they offer them on a platter to Renés twin brother René, so that he can shoot them.

S1E7 - The Dance of the Hitler Youth 1984-10-26

The Colonels birthday party becomes a perfect opportunity for getting the real painting of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies back from Herr Flick of the Gestapo, and substituting it with the forgery that was made earlier. The plan is to not invite Herr Flick but make sure that he hears about the big Binge – a traditional feast with genuine Bavarian dances featuring girls dressed as the Hitler Youth – so that he will have to come. In the meantime, René and Edith are supposed to walk into the office of Herr Flick and substitute the real with the fake. Of course, they fail – which means that Herr Flick now both has the fake and the original plus a second forgery, which he commissioned on his own in order to have money for his marriage with Helga after the war.

S2E1 - Six Big Boobies 1985-10-21

After the British airmen are gone for good – or so René thinks – there is still the problem of Herr Flick owning all three copies of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies (one original and two fakes), and while Herr Flick kidnaps Lieutenant Gruber (a former art house worker), the Colonel and the Captain start to plan their next move. All the while, Renés widow Edith have found Renés will, and being the sole beneficiary, goes on a spending spree with Renés money to attract better suitors. And the British airmen return as nuns. They are last seen hidden in the piano.

S2E2 - The Wooing of Widow Artois 1985-10-28

René is caught in a dilemma when he must choose between the women he loves: his waitresses Yvette and Marie, and his wife Edith, who as his widow has all his money. Unfortunately, he cannot bring himself to woo Edith again, so Edith seeks the attention that she can get from other suitors in town.

S2E3 - The Policeman Cometh 1985-11-04

We pick up the action mere moments after the close of the previous episode, as the airmen-filled cow narrowly escape being milked by a German patrol while awaiting the landing of the plane. As they watch disappointedly, the plane does not land, and instead jettisoning two parachutes, one of which yields a new escape package. The other yields Officer Crabtree, sent from "British Ontelligence Headquitters". Disguised as a policeman, he is supposed to blend in. Unfortunately, his French is abominable, getting the vowels wrong as often as not. Meanwhile, the plan to blow up the non-painting-filled knockwurst on its way to Hitler has hit a snag: René cant find anyone to blow up the train.

S2E4 - Swiftly and With Style 1985-11-11

After failing to destroying the train, which will take the copy of the painting of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies to Hitler, René and the Captain are captured by the Resistance, only to be rescued by Herr Flick. The Colonel and the Captain are afraid that Hitler will understand that the painting is a copy, and prepare to escape to Switzerland. In the meantime, British agent in disguise, officer Crabtree, has a new escape plan for the British airmen.

S2E5 - The Duel 1985-11-18

René tries to hide from the seconds of Monsieur Alphonse, the undertaker, but in his stead Lieutenant Gruber accepts the duel. However, the Colonel and the Captain want to save René and plans an exercise to "accidentally" kill Monsieur Alphonse. The plan is thwarted by Herr Flick, who has discovered that the sausage that was sent to Berlin containing the painting of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies did not contain any painting – either real or fake. Herr Flick correctly assumes that the Colonel and the Captain stole the painting, and arrests them and cancels the exercise. Now René has to fight the duel on his own, while Yvette and Maria grieve on the sidelines and his wife Edith catches up on the gossip of the week.

S2E6 - Herr Flick's Revenge 1985-11-25

After René ran away from the duel with Monsieur Alphonse, he hides. Hes rescued by Michelle from the Resistance who smuggles him back into the café dressed as a member of the Resistance, while she explains to Monsieur Alphonse that René is the bravest man in France. But Herr Flick has captured the Colonel and the Captain, and brings in René as well, and torture them unless they reveal where the painting of "The Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies" is hidden. They are rescued by General von Klinkerhoffen. With life back to normal, theres only a matter of getting the British airmen out. As the General imposes a curfew, Michelles plan is a funeral for Madame Fanny.

S2E7 - Season 2, Episode 7

No description

S3E1 - The Nicked Knockwurst 1986-12-05

After the Colonel makes René promise not to hang out with the Resistance anymore, Herr Flicks sausage (containing the forgery of the Fallen Madonna) is kidnapped by the Communist Resistance. The Colonel and the Captain are anxious that it doesnt come out that they have switched the paintings, and order René to come up with the ransom, which Edith gets from Monsieur Alphonse. The ransom is to be left by René and his staff, dressed as German soldiers. But the whole thing is watched by German soldiers dressed as French policemen, the Gestapo dressed as French Resistance girls, and the Colonel and the Captain dressed as trees. And of course, Lieutenant Gruber stumbles upon the meeting, and his dog cant help but chase the sausage.

S3E2 - Gruber Does Some Mincing 1986-12-12

The sausage containing the painting of the Fallen Madonna, which was taken by Lieutenant Grubers dog, is minced by the Lieutenant – but fortunately he discovers it first and saves it. At the same time, the missing knockwurst means that Monsieur Alphonse cannot get back the money which he leant to pay the ransom of the kidnapped sausage. The Resistance pays him back with Monsieur Leclercs badly forged money. But after everything seems to be getting back to normal, the sausage is sent to Lieutenant Gruber to make another copy. Also, Michelles latest plan to get the British airmen back is by an old plane with the motor from general von Klinkerhoffens lawn mower.

S3E3 - The Sausage in the Wardrobe 1986-12-19

After Maria is sent to Lieutenant Gruber with the sausage containing the real painting of the Fallen Madonna for copying, she is caught by General von Klinckerhofen, who places the sausage in his wardrobe and helds Maria hostage until his lawn mover engine is returned by the Resistance. Herr Flick, the Colonel and the Captain, and René hears about this and decides to go to the chateau through the secret passages and steal the sausage from under the Generals nose, using Helga, Yvette and Lieutenant Gruber as erotical bait.

S3E4 - Flight of Fancy 1986-12-26

With René again in the possession of the sausage containing the painting of the Fallen Madonna, the attention turns to getting the two British airmen out of France. Michelle proposes a steam engine tour through Nouvion. Michelles newest hairbrained scheme of getting the airmen out will of course need 80 meters of suspenders, and its Renés job to get them from every Frenchman in Nouvion. Herr Flick and Helga arrive in his staff car to spy on the show.

S3E5 - Pretty Maids All in a Row 1987-01-02

After the plot to get the two British airmen out failed, a frustrated René returns to the painting of the Fallen Madonna. He hides it behind an ugly painting in his café which is immediately recognized by General von Klinkerhoffen as a Van Gogh and requisitioned for his office in the chateau. He also requistions the two new maids in Café René – or as they are better known: the two British airmen in disguise. Realizing that the two airmen will be recognized right away, Michelle of the Resistance comes up with another hairbrained scheme of digging a tunnel from Monsieur Alphonses morgue into the prisoner of war camp and smuggling in the two airmen into the camp.

S3E6 - The Great Un-Escape 1987-01-09

While the Captain is sitting in the café, herr Flick from the Gestapo is listening when René is talking to London on the wireless. He soon cracks the code surrounding the message with the plan to dig a tunnel from the mortuary to hide the British airmen. But its soon apparent that the two airmen and Monsieur Alphonse need help with the digging, and the café staff are called in, leaving Madame Fanny and Leclerc in the café. But the Colonel and the Captain follow René, discover the tunnel, and are captured in the prisoner of war camp.

S4E1 - Prisoners of War 1987-11-07

Having been trapped in the POW camp, René is enlisted in the plan to re-dig the tunnel, by getting rid of the dirt. Hans and the Colonel are playing cricket, though not very well, and Herr Flick and Von Smallhausen are digging their own tunnel into the camp. Monsieur Alphonse arrives at the café to report to Fanny the news that René has been captured, but René and Company join in on the British prisoners plan to escape – though only one person can escape in this way. Meanwhile, Helga reports the situation to Gruber, and together they decide on a plan to rescue the Colonel, the Captain, and René, involving Gruber dressing as a nun.

S4E2 - Camp Dance 1987-11-14

Dressed as girls from the Folies Bergère, the entire gang (the staff and the Germans) escape from the prisoner of war camp, and completely against plans bring the two British airmen with them. Outside again, the Colonel finds that the Captain is missing, only his glasses are found. Herr Flick and von Smallhousen intercept a message from London and try to send their own message, but René catches on and tosses the radio out the window, which leaves the Resistance without a means to contact London, until Michelle thinks of the radio in Lieutenant Grubers little tank.

S4E3 - Good Staff Are Hard to Find 1987-11-21

Since Marias disappearance, the café needs another waitress, but René and Edith has somewhat different ideas about who should fill the position, but finally Michelle from the Resistance brings tiny Mimi from another cell, to be Renés bodyguard. In the meantime, General von Klinkerhoffen gives the Colonel a new assistant, Italian liaison Bertorelli.

S4E4 - The Flying Nun 1987-11-28

The Gestapo suspects that the Colonel and the General are in on a plot to assassinate Hitler, so Herr Flick goes undercover as Private Irma Von Kinkenrotten and plants a somewhat bizarre daffodil-shaped microphone in the Colonels office, where Gruber and Von Strohm are making plans to get rid of Bertorelli in some way. Meanwhile, as Edith prepares for her wedding, René & Co. must get the aerial for their new radio above the jamming signal of Herr Flick, so they disguise Mimi as a small nun to obtain a box kite which they fly to contact London and request plastic explosive to blow up the safe in the Generals chateau to get the British Invasion plans.

S4E5 - The Sausage in the Trousers 1987-12-05

There is still no batteries for the wireless radio underneath the bed of Renés mother in law, so Michelles newest hairbrained scheme is to have René and Yvette powering the radio with the generator from a bicycle until the stolen batteries from a German midget submarine are delivered. The Lieutenant is finished copying the paintings (The Fallen Madonna and the Van Gogh), and delivers them as sausages. Sausages also comes from Captain Bertorelli (real ones), Monsieur Leclerc (submarine batteries), and Officer Crabtree (explosives), and soon theyre all mixed up in the German officers pants.

S4E6 - The Jet-Propelled Mother-in-Law 1987-12-12

The Germans arrest René, and the Colonel demands an explanation for the knockwursts with explosives in them. After a small lie, René is sent home with around a dozen knockwursts to hang in his kitchen. Meanwhile, the British have sent a spy camera with which the Resistance should be able to photograph the plans for the German invasion of Great Britain, but the camera landed in the vineyard of Monsieur Alphonses, and since the Germans commandeered the vineyard, the Resistance cannot go and look for the camera. This problem is solved when the General orders every peasant in Nouvion to work on the vineyard, which also leaves room for some assassination attempts on the Generals life.

S5E1 - Desperate Doings in the Dungeon 1988-09-03

René is forced to masquerade as the head of the Gestapo, Heinrich Himmler himself, in an attempt to rescue Frau Von Kinkenrotten from prison. Of course, this is actually Herr Flick, still in his earlier disguise.

S5E2 - The Camera in the Potato 1988-09-10

Armed with a camera disguised as a potato, René has to get into the chateau so he can photograph plans for the German invasion of Britain.

S5E3 - Dinner with the General 1988-09-17

Leclerc and René plan to blow the safe in Lieutenant Grubers bedroom. Ediths job is to drop a smoke canister down his chimney, but will she get the right one?

S5E4 - The Dreaded Circular Saw 1988-09-24

Having blown the safe in Lieutenant Grubers bedroom, René and Leclerc are surprised by its contents. The Communist Resistance lies in wait for their escape, and holds them hostage in a sawmill.

S5E5 - Otherwise Engaged 1988-10-01

Denise, the head of the Communist Resistance, who was Renés sweetheart in his childhood in Nancy, and whos now determined to marry René. Meanwhile, Edith and the servant girls have to explain to the Lieutenant why his little tank has crashed into the public toilet, and ends up getting Grubers compassion. René has a difficult time telling Edith that he will marry Denise, since Monsieur Alphonse has asked for Ediths hand, and Yvette has it in her heart to tell Edith that René will marry her instead.

S5E6 - A Marriage of Inconvenience 1988-10-08

Renés friends rally round to try and save him from his impending marriage to the formidable leader of the Communist Resistance.

S5E7 - No Hiding Place 1988-10-15

René disguises himself as his father in order to escape the wrath of Denise Laroque.

S5E8 - The Arrival of the Homing Duck 1988-10-22

René and the Resistance find another novel way to return the British airmen to England.

S5E9 - Watch the Birdie 1988-10-29

René and his staff prepare the long-distance duck for its vital flight to England.

S5E10 - René - Under an Assumed Nose 1988-11-05

Monsieur Leclerc comes to the rescue when orders are given for René to be arrested. René tries to escape using a unique disguise.

S5E11 - The Confusion of the Generals 1988-11-12

René is in even more trouble as the generals gather round at the chateau.

S5E12 - Who's for the Vatican? 1988-11-19

A medal for bravery, a suicide pill and a hide-out in the Vatican introduce an old habit to René.

S5E13 - Ribbing the Bonk 1988-11-26

René and the Resistance need to find a huge amount of money quickly to save Mimi from the Communists.

S5E14 - The Reluctant Millionaires 1988-12-03

When it is revealed that the one million francs stolen from the bank belong to Herr Flick of the Gestapo, the best place to hide them seems to be down Renés trousers.

S5E15 - A Duck for Launch 1988-12-10

René has got rid of the Gestapos money, next is the secret microfilm, but he is hampered by the Resistance girls in the cupboard.

S5E16 - The Exploding Bedpan 1988-12-17

While under interrogation, Alfonses dicky ticker starts playing up, and he is whisked to hospital. He must be either rescued or eliminated before he can spill the beans about the stolen Gestapo money.

S5E17 - Going Like a Bomb 1988-12-24

Michelle and Crabtree hatch another plot to get the British airmen back to Blighty. Captain Bertorelli has stolen Gestapo money planted on him.

S5E18 - Money to Burn 1988-12-31

Edith is in a romantic mood, and René is playing the piano.

S5E19 - Pudding Can Go Off 1989-01-07

Faced with the problem of hiding 1,000 kilos of stolen high explosive, Michelle of the Resistance decides on a simple but daring course of action. It will be hidden in 500 Christmas puddings.

S5E20 - Land Mines for London 1989-01-14

Not only does René nearly get blown up by an exploding Christmas pudding, he also gets roped into another Resistance plan to smuggle out the British airmen.

S5E21 - Flight to Geneva 1989-01-21

René tries to sneak off to Switzerland with Yvette on the night train.

S5E22 - Train of Events 1989-01-28

René attempts to sneak off to Switzerland with Yvette and four gold bars, but discovers the Resistance are intending to blow up their train.

S5E23 - An Enigma Variation 1989-02-04

Chaos engulfs René as he attempts to hide the stolen gold. Meanwhile, the Resistance plan to steal the Enigma encoder.

S5E24 - Wedding Bloss 1989-02-11

René asks Edith to marry him after hearing Monsieur Alphonses intentions of asking for her hand in marriage. Meanwhile, General Von Klinkerhoffen suspects Colonel Von Strohm of stealing his gold, while Herr Flick suspects René.

S5E25 - Down the Drain 1989-02-18

René is still hiding the four bars of gold he has stolen and decides it is time he left his dangerous life in Nouvion.

S5E26 - All in Disgeese 1989-02-25

René is still harbouring the German Enigma machine as well as the four bars of gold he has stolen, two British airmen and the painting of the Cracked Vase with the Big Daisies by Van Gogh. So the café is now full and getting more crowded by the minute.

S6E1 - Desperate Doings in the Graveyard 1989-09-02

The latest escape plan for the British airmen involves them wading along the canal underneath a tin bath. Herr Flick and Von Smallhausen pose as escaped British airmen, hoping to be picked up by the Resistance. The Resistance have built a communication post in Renés grave, in an effort to get around German jamming of their radio signals. René, Edith and Monsieur Alphonse try it out. René gets caught on the aerial and is hoisted above his grave. Lieutenant Gruber sees him and thinks its the ghost of Renés twin brother.

S6E2 - The Gestapo for the High Jump 1989-09-09

The Gestapo and the Italians plan to infiltrate the Resistance. Little do they know that René and friends are waiting for them.

S6E3 - The Nouvion Oars 1989-09-16

Private Helga Geerhart plans to marry Herr Flick in order to report his every move to General Von Klinkerhoffe

S6E4 - The Nicked Airmen 1989-09-23

When the British airmen are arrested paddling a tin bath down the estuary, René and his staff are instructed to rescue them from the chateau in coffins. All goes to plan, until Monsieur Alfonse challenges Monsieur Leclerc to a duel.

S6E5 - The Airmen De-Nicked 1989-09-30

Michelle of the Resistance plans to infiltrate German headquarters to rescue the British airmen using hijacked German uniforms. But who will fit them? Officer Crabtree thinks Renés chances are farty to one.

S6E6 - The Crooked Fences 1989-10-07

Café René is the venue for a clandestine deal involving the solid gold cuckoo clock weight, Van Klomps portrait of the Fallen Madonna and five anonymous characters wearing paper bags over their heads who answer to the names of Colonel X, Lieutenant X, Captain X, Private X and X.

S6E7 - Crabtree's Podgeon Pist 1989-10-14

Fanny and Leclercs wedding is timed to coincide with the execution of Michelles most audacious escape plan yet.

S6E8 - Rising to the Occasion 1989-10-21

Michelle comes up with an audacious escape plan for the British airmen involving a barrage balloon and 24 cylinders of helium disguised as prize-winning marrows.

S7E1 - A Quiet Honeymoon 1991-01-05

Newly-weds Fanny and Leclerc are sent to jail by the Germans for flying around in a bed attached to a balloon. Edith decides they have to be rescued - much to Renés horror. But her plans are thwarted by a loose bed knob.

S7E2 - An Almighty Bang 1991-01-12

The Colonel, Gruber and Bertorelli desperately try to stop General Von Flockenstoffens suicidal plan to kidnap Churchill.

S7E3 - Fleeing Monks 1991-01-26

René is to be given a collaboration medal for his help with the removal of Von Flockenstuffen. Unfortunately, this causes the Communist Resistance to place a price on his head. He decides once again to elope with Yvette. Michelle orders René to take the British airmen to the monastery to be picked up by a lightweight plane. Flick also learns of this news, and he and Von Smallhausen have themselves initiated into the brotherhood to gather information and capture the airmen. Unfortunately, René ends up grabbing Ediths hand instead of Yvettes, as the two are rushed aboard the plane bound for England.

S7E4 - Up the Crick Without a Piddle 1991-02-02

René and Edith, transported to England in the place of the British airmen, get medals from Churchill and meet an old friend from the past.

S7E5 - The Gestapo Ruins a Picnic 1991-02-02

The German officers burgle Gestapo headquarters, but find a ghostly apparition has got there before them.

S7E6 - The Spirit of Nouvion 1991-02-16

Michelle enlists René to try to retrieve the Fallen Madonna locked in Herr Flicks safe.

S7E7 - Leg It to Spain! 1991-02-23

A rescue operation is mounted when the British airmen find themselves trapped in wine barrels in the cellars of the chateau.

S7E8 - Prior Engagements 1991-03-02

Von Klinkerhoffen thinks a marriage between a French woman and a man from the occupying forces would be good propaganda. He orders Edith to marry Bertorelli.