Absolutely Fabulous

Unable to fit into the majority of her clothes, Edina becomes determined to lose weight. At the office, she is horrified upon learning of an upcoming visit by Penny Caspar-Morse, a thin model that used to torment Edina about her weight. Edina unsuccessfully attempts to exercise, and with Penny arriving earlier than expected, she accepts Patsys suggestion to undergo a liposuction. After a disturbing nightmare about the procedure going horrifically wrong, Edina decides against the idea and instead puts on an oversized sweatshirt in order to cover herself up. Patsy announces that Penny is blind, much to Edinas delight. Later, Edina drunkenly rants at Penny about how she ruined her life and brags about how successful and thin she has become. However, she inadvertently reveals her weight as she grabs Pennys hands and places them on her waist.

Patsy helps Edina break in her new isolation tank upstairs, while Saffron works with classmates on a presentation for her sixth form colleges open day. Edina is left feeling useless after Bubble, now a dedicated professional, takes charge of the office. She takes a sudden interest in Saffrons presentation and begs to be invited to the open day. When Saffron vehemently refuses, Edina throws a tantrum and threatens to adopt a Romanian orphan—to the point of instructing Bubble to send over a selection of babies so she can pick one. She then frantically tries to cancel the deal, but it is too late. Saffron eventually allows Edina to attend the open day. However, the presentation is interrupted as the babies arrive and start wailing, angering Saffron. Edina then wakes up in a panic, still in her isolation tank, and realises it was all a dream.

Patsy, who is temporarily staying with the Monsoons, becomes jealous when Edina reconnects with an old boyfriend. During one of her sporadic appearances at work, Patsy is assigned to host a fashion makeover segment on a morning television show. After clashing with the models, Patsy attempts to persuade Saffron and Mother to appear on the show in their place, telling a tale of her emotionally distant mother. Saffron agrees, on the condition that Patsy moves out of the house and does not interfere with Edinas relationship. Patsys television appearance turns disastrous as she suddenly becomes nervous. After Patsy convinces Edina to break up with her boyfriend, Saffron lashes out at Patsy for not upholding her end of the deal.

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When Edinas father dies, a grief-stricken Saffron is horrified by her mothers apathy. However, once she realises her own mortality, Edina decides to buy expensive artwork, which she plans to leave behind when she dies. Marshall stops by with his new grief-counsellor girlfriend, Sondra, who panics upon discovering that the corpse is to be placed in Edinas living room for the wake. Despite being banned by Saffron from attending the funeral, Edina shows up anyway, taking Patsy along. At the cemetery, Edina stumbles drunkenly into her fathers grave and Patsy falls into another open grave nearby. No one offers to help as the two struggle to climb out.

Edina frantically organises her cluttered house in order to host old friends Bettina and Max, who were once obsessed with minimalism. Feeling ignored by Edina, Patsy leaves in search of another lunch partner. When Bettina and Max arrive, Edina is disappointed to learn that they are now the hysterical, neurotic parents of a newborn baby. As the couple wreak havoc, Edina quickly leaves the house. At a restaurant, Edina and Patsy compete against each other by attempting to befriend famous people: Patsy invites herself to lunch with Britt Ekland and Zandra Rhodes, while Edina forces her client Lulu to have lunch with her. Both lunches end awkwardly. Back home, while Saffron and Mother comfort Bettina, they hear Edina and Max having sex over the baby monitor. After the couple finally leave the intended result of Edinas fling she and Patsy make peace.

Patsy accidentally burns down the Monsoons kitchen with a cigarette. She and Edina later plan a night out, but they decide to stick around after learning that Saffron is expecting a date, much to her chagrin. To make matters worse, Mother inadvertently locks the three women in the living room on her way to the chemists. Edina pesters a mortified Saffron with questions about her sex life, before the trio exchange stories about their own births. Patsy—who had a neglectful mother—expresses her resentment towards Saffron due to the privileges she enjoyed while growing up, leading to a bitter dispute between the two. When Mother eventually returns home and unlocks the door, Edina and Patsy quickly leave, while Saffrons date is waiting outside. A flashback sequence shows Edina as she plans to surrender Saffron for adoption.

As Edina and Patsy prepare to attend an underground rave on New Years Eve, they receive an unexpected visit from Patsys long-lost older sister Jackie. Patsy insists on taking Jackie along to the party, much to Edinas dismay. However, Patsy is disappointed to learn that Jackie is no longer the jet-setting, drug-addled party animal she used to be. Now homeless, Jackie asks Patsy if she could stay with Edina until she can raise money to open a shelter for stray cats and dogs. After helping Jackie loot Edinas bedroom for valuables she can sell to raise money, Patsy throws her out of the house, but it is too late to go the party a frustrated Edina has fallen asleep in the sitting room, surrounded by her family as the clock strikes midnight.

Edina becomes frustrated when she loses a prestigious PR award to rival Claudia Bing, despite having bribed the judges. Worried about her dwindling career, Edina works on a campaign in hopes of upstaging Claudia. Meanwhile, Saffron becomes romantically involved with Gerard, her psychology lecturer, until she discovers that he is married with children. In a rare occurrence, Edina comes to Saffrons aid by punching Gerard in the face. At an industry luncheon, Edinas speech is stolen, prompting a drunken rant against the bastardisation of the PR industry, which proves a success. When Edina and Patsy attempt to retrieve the speech, the duo awaken the next morning on a trash barge headed for Ostend.

Edina joins a New Age commune, but she struggles to fit in and quickly becomes bored. Patsy finds herself disillusioned with her new job in New York due to creative differences with her co-workers. Saffron settles into university life and Mother spends her days at the Monsoon house, drinking champagne and ordering items from the shopping channel. After realising that their lives are not the same without each other, Edina and Patsy happily reunite on top of Carnegie Hall Tower before returning to London. Back home, Mother has been arrested for squatting and credit card fraud. A flashforward to 25 years into the future provides a glimpse into the lives of Edina, Patsy, Saffron and Mother.

Edina and Patsy return home from Val-dIsère. Upon discovering that Paolos parents are wealthy and famous, Edina takes a sudden interest in Saffrons upcoming wedding. When Paolos parents come to visit, his mother, Kalishia, disapproves of Saffron and refuses to allow Paolo to marry her. Patsy blackmails Kalishia into changing her mind by reminding her that they once co-starred in a Bond-inspired pornographic film. On the wedding day, Edina replaces Saffrons bridesmaid, Sarah, with Georgina, a Gucci model. When the vicar asks if there are any objections, Edina has another vision of God, who opposes the marriage. Edina interrupts the ceremony, prompting the guests to leave, while Paolo departs with Georgina. Though initially devastated, Saffron ultimately admits that Paolo was not right for her, before Edina and Patsy reveal that they are going on her honeymoon trip.

When Saffron hires a handsome landscape gardener to redesign the backyard, Patsy recognises him as Jago Balfour, the younger brother of a wealthy acquaintance of hers, who inherited a country estate before dying of an overdose. Presuming Jago to be rich as well, Patsy goads Edina into seducing him. Edina and Jago soon arrange a dinner date, which eventually leads to a wild night of lovemaking. The next morning, Jago reveals that his brother squandered the family fortune on drugs, forcing him to sell the estate to Roger Daltrey as a fish farm, much to the horror of Edina and Patsy.

Edina enrolls in a boot-camp fitness programme and subjects herself to a strict diet, after being ridiculed for her weight by Katy Grin, Catriona and Fleur. Meanwhile, Patsy briefly experiments with pulling back her signature fringe for the first time in decades, and budding playwright Saffron receives a visit from Taylor, a pretentious old school friend with acting aspirations. Despite initially struggling, Edinas efforts soon pay off as she realises she has lost one stone. Proudly displaying her slimmer figure, Edina meets her friends again for lunch, but her weight loss is still not enough to deter Katy Grins snide remarks.

Bubble accidentally emails Edinas clients details to nemesis Claudia Bing, who poaches most of Edinas clients, including Twiggy. Patsy—who has recently been diagnosed with osteoporosis—and Edina are horrified when Saffron forces them to attend a Menopausals Anonymous meeting organised by her. In order to save her business, Edina dupes Claudia into buying her TV company—which currently has no programmes—while Claudia also agrees to return several high-profile clients. Saffron has a terrifying nightmare in which Patsy threatens to impregnate herself with a vial of Mick Jaggers sperm unless she is allowed to move into the spare room.

Edina has a nightmare about Saffrons baby trying to stab her. It turns out that the face of the nightmare baby belongs to Saffrons midwife, who delights in teasing Edina about these nightmares. Edina expresses her displeasure about this baby. Saffron invites the father of the baby to the house to tell him she is pregnant. In the meantime, Edina and Patsy have organised a book club, but no one is interested in reading any books except celebrity magazines. When Edina discovers that John Johnson, the father of Saffrons baby is black, she is overjoyed, because she thinks a mixed-race baby is the greatest accessory, the "Chanel of babies." When Saffron tells John that she is pregnant, he replies that she should tell people that she is pregnant right away or people will think she is fat.

Edina begins an ad campaign for Prince Charles biscuits, and claims that it is "by royal appointment". she begins to associate with the wealthy socialite crowd, and buys a weekend at a country house hotel. Upon arrival, Patsy and Edina discover that nothing is in season, and the place doesnt even have any jacuzzis or massage. Patsy tells Edina that the Rothschilds were laughing at her. Edina becomes angry and determines that she will kill something, and goes out with Patsy with guns blazing in the middle of the night. They bring a pheasant back to the hotel, which Edina puts in the closet. In the morning they discover that the pheasant is still alive. Patsy tells Edina to pull its neck but Edina bonds with it and drugs it and releases it into Hyde Park. At home, Emma and Sarah bring gifts to Saffron for a baby shower, and Sarah becomes obsessed with Emma. Sarah stalks Emma, and Saffron eventually calls the police and has Sarah arrested.

Edinas new boyfriend Pete is a tape engineer who used to work at Abbey Road Studios during the time that the Beatles recorded there, and who had found some unreleased tapes. In a studio, the girls have fun and Edina sings her walking down the road song she loves. There are flashbacks from the sixties where Patsy is a man and they are at a recording for the Sgt. Pepper album. Back at home, Elton John had been invited to the party to debut the Beatles tapes, but gets annoyed and leaves when he discovers he was only invited to play piano in the background. Finally, just after proposing marriage to Edina, Pete plays the tapes at the party. Instead of The Beatles, Edina is heard singing. Apparently this is because Patsy had pressed the record button on the recorder in the studio by mistake whilst she was looking for champagne in the control room, and Edina unknowingly sang over the tapes.

For the first time ever, Edina has agreed to stay home and spend Christmas with the family. Edina typically goes overboard by buying a huge tree and tons of gifts. Patsy is very upset that she cannot go away on vacation with Edina as they do every year, as she hates Christmas. Patsy has a flashback of unpleasant Christmas memories of her childhood. Someone somewhere sticks a pin in a Patsy voodoo doll, and she collapses in pain beneath the Christmas tree. Although Edina and Saffron ignore her, John insists that Patsy needs to go to the hospital. Once at the hospital, the doctors tell Edina that Patsy is very sick and that she may die. Edina and Saffron return to the house to continue their Christmas celebration. In the middle of the night, Patsys estranged sister Jackie arrives to visit her. The following day, Edina and Saffron drop by only to learn from a nurse that Patsy has died, only they find out that it turns out to be Jackie instead.

Edina collects Saffron from prison, where she served two years for (unknowingly) providing asylum seekers with forged passports. Saffron later invites a former cellmate, Baron, to the house, but it is soon revealed that Baron was once Patsys drug dealer and Patsy still owes her £50,000; Baron refuses to leave until the debt is repaid. In order to obtain the money, Saffron convinces Patsy to claim her pension, forcing her to own up to her actual age. Realising she has no official documents, Patsy begins to question her own existence until Mother presents Patsys old Post Office savings book. After going to the benefits office with Edina, Patsy successfully pays off her debt to Baron.

Edina decides to rent out her house to Michael Douglas during the Summer Olympics, hoping it will lead to prestigious A-list parties, even though Patsy—who now needs incontinence pants—no longer shares Edinas penchant for partying. However, Bo and Marshall arrive instead, after Michael gave the couple his party invitations. Frustrated with her dwindling social life, Edina happens upon one of Michaels invitations, allowing her and Patsy to attend a pre-Olympics party. The pair are eventually escorted out after Edina harasses Stella McCartney.